Stay Married - so help you God

(photo by Mike Groll/Yahoo News/AP)

The New York Governor is keeping the mainstream media (and the tabloids) busy these days. The new Guv, David Paterson, who took office after Eliot Spitzer's quick disgrace and resignation, has himself announced adultery... a few times, with different women. His wife has also revealed her adultery.

It all happened during a rough spot in their marriage a few years ago. They announced it, wisely, at the beginning of his tenure in the Big Chair. "I didn't want to be compromised. My conscience is clear. I feel a lot better," the Guv said on day two of his administration. They are in counseling and have vowed not to do it again.

Now his staff and reporters are making sure he didn't use state money for his trysts. "We the people" seem to care much more about how our tax dollars are at work, than about how our politicians are workin' it.

(A couple of scalawags not mentioned or pictured in the previous post, no less than the 1990s posterboys for dalliance, President William Clinton and Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich. The President holding his marriage together, Mr. Speaker divorcing his second wife and marrying the girlfriend with whom he affaired.)

America seems to be settling for a bit less personal perfection in the character of her leaders, and the press is ready to make sure we know from where all the dirt under those fingernails came.

Marriage ain't easy, and it ain't supposed to be. But it is worth fighting for. Couples are supposed to fight together, against the things that try to tear them apart. Too often we just settle for the easy opponent - our spouse. Thanks to Family Life Ministries of Little Rock Arkansas (http://www.familylife.com/), who taught my wife and I that "your spouse is not your enemy."

I'm praying for the Patersons. It's easier for most of us. We don't have to do a news conference to confess all our junk. Do you think the pressure of the public spotlight would keep us on the straight and narrow way?

Spitzer joins league of extraordinary scalawags

He fell like lightning. But New York’s shamed Gov. Eliot Spitzer is not the devil incarnate. He’s merely a man, beset by the guilt he bore privately until Monday. His guilt was safely shielded behind his bravado, or so he thought.

Spitzer crashed hard and fast, behind implications that he hired an escort to travel from New York to Washington for a couple of hours of sexual favors. The feds were alerted because of unusual transactions, a shell company, and a phony name, all allegedly used by the Guv to pay for his partying ways. He resigned because he has no time to run the State of New York. His job yesterday was to wrangle some kind of legal deal to keep him out of federal court. His job today is to wrestle his demons and try, try to restore some semblance of a relationship with his wife and daughters. That job will take him longer than he thinks.

Spitzer joins the legion of wealthy, powerful, successful men who were compelled to cross the line both personally and professionally. We build ‘em up – politicians, athletes, preachers – and we watch ‘em slide down the steps they built, bruising their rumps and heads all they way. Painful. To some, it’s morbidly delightful.

The details of this case are so juicy. If it were a Hollywood script, it would be dismissed as unbelievable. Golly, politics is fun!

ON PROSTITUTION
If the Guv got his freak on way out there in Nevada, where such things are legal and regulated, (and if he paid for it in cash from his own money) would he be in trouble? Not so much.

Unfortunately, the sexually liberated and libertarian-wanna be American public doesn’t care nearly as much about marriage vows as it does about public money. Should we care?

People say they don’t care what a man does in his private life. But deep down, we know if a man lies to his wife and kids, he will lie to us. And trust don’t come cheap. It takes years to prove oneself faithful. And in a moment, that tree can be cut down.

OFFICER OF THE COURT
If proven guilty, extra demerits for an attorney who crosses the line. Triple demerits for the prosecuting attorney caught working loopholes in the system. For a zealot like Spitzer who defended the letter of the law with such glee, no mercy. He should expect the prosecutor to give no quarter. But those guys don’t play by the same rules as you and me.

THE NEW GOVERNOR
David Paterson will become New York’s governor next Monday. The Honorable Mr. Paterson represented Harlem in the N.Y. state legislature for 20 years before becoming Lieutenant Governor in 2006. He also spoke (not during prime time) at the 2004 Democratic convention in Boston, where Barack Obama stormed onto the national stage. I’ve already heard newscasters report that Paterson would be NY’s first African-American governor. It’s a bigger story that he will be the first blind governor in the nation’s history.

WHY THEY DO IT
Lust? Power? "Because they can?" An old preacher once said, "every man who knocks on the door of a prostitute is actually looking for God." Like most substitutes, whatever a guy is looking for, it's rarely - if ever - found at the door of a harlot. True intimacy, deep and true fulfillment, great sex, real interest and deep caring is more likely found at home than "on the road."

If not, well, there's nothing sadder than a "lonely husband."

Tunes and such - Calvin Nowell

Just found the MySpace page for a new friend, Calvin Nowell. And by friend, I mean in the literal - we've met face to face and enjoyed some connections - kind of friendship. Not the MySpace "be my 8700th friend" sense. But I'm not hating... MySpace is cool, super cool for artists...

GO TO COLUMN ON THE RIGHT - "TUNES AND SUCH"

Calvin's got a great story (how he lost 215 pounds!), he's a gifted minister, and delivers a soothing worship sound full of heart and SOUL. I'm delighted with the songs he's posted on his page, from his well-titled release, start somewhere.

Others on my "Tunes and such" list are friends and/or artists with straight-arrow impact on my heart and head.

Swirl 23 - Detroit-based alternative rock with a vision (kinda grungey - rap/core-ish, y'know?), unsigned.

Mariachi Vasquez - what? With mohawks and dyed hair, Denver's coolest mariachi band, and all in the same family.

Shane Ladean - Denver area worship leader, passion pilot, steers his Fender Rhodes with total skill, writes cool songs, my daughter sings with him.

Ayinde - Denver-based singer/poet/performance artist with a deep, deep well of furious love for God and mankind. See him monthly at "The Speakout" in Aurora - national caliber poetics!

Tye Tribbett and Greater Anointing - another church boy breaks the mold with high praise, groovy hooks, prophetic lyrics, stage presence like Gnarls Barkley, and willing to leave the playlist and enter into the vertical praise realm. Don't miss in concert!

David Crowder Band - became famous through Passion concerts. I can't stop singing his songs.

Israel and New Breed - often seen leading worship at Joel Osteen's megaplex, I Houghton and band played in the Grammy show last Sunday (2008). Breaking the mold of soul-laced worship, racking up awards, staying real.

Mattingly: "Thou shalt not say 'adultery'"

It's a strange Valentine's Day season. Just read a story on how to make your divorce happier, and this one from religion columnist Terry Mattingly.

In his interview with Pamela Druckerman, author of Lust in Translation: The Rules of Infidelity from Tokyo to Tennessee, it became clear that the 7th Commandment isn't just that big a deal anymore.

"If I asked someone, 'Have you ever committed adultery?', it was like God entered the room at that moment," said Druckerman, reached at her home in Paris.

Mattingly's column should be posted today at: http://tmatt.gospelcom.net/column/

Over on the "love front," both the Wall Street Journal and ABC News are tracking studies that show the connections between "new love" (passion, pleasure, elevated dopamine in the brain's ventral tegmental area), and enduring love (bonding, raised oxytocin levels and activity in the brain's ventral pallidum area).

Fellas, keep the playful passion set on "high." In addition to respecting her, and honoring her (good long term strategies), I think your lady likes being pursued.

I'm taking Valentine's Day off. Our anniversary is one week later, and that's the big show for us.

Look for Sam Schechner's article, "Keeping Love Alive," Feb. 8, 2008, Wall Street Journal. (You can get access to lots of Wall St. Journal content by entering through a Google search.)

Kanye brushes up against the truth

Hip hop fans are feeling for Kanye, as he mourns publicly the loss of his mother Donda, who died earlier this year after plastic surgery. From the Yahoo/AP story on tonight's 50th anniversary Grammy awards show:

"Last night I saw you in my dreams, and now I can't wait to go to sleep," sang West, dressed in black and with MAMA etched into his haircut, as he launched into "Hey Mama," a celebratory tune from his second album that has now turned into a somber ode.

Even closer to the mark, Kanye said, "I'll be more alive when I'm asleep, than I am today."

Missing our departed loved ones, there is a great reunion for all those who die in Christ. And forever is a long time...

Link to Yahoo/AP story